My Poison is bigger than yours
15 Thoth – There are many ways to reward a humorous post but none more singular than methods employed by Hatred member, Poison, who made quick work of gifted rhyming heckler, the one and only Pecker, after a poem surfaced which indirectly poked fun at Poison’s competence as a fighter. Some time passed and eventually Jim (N: Hatred) allowed Pecker to escape the Underworld. But Poison, unsatisfied with the living state of her newly-sworn enemy, defiantly dueled the life out of him again. The act was quickly noticed by FlamingLnfernal (Hem-Netjer) who promptly pulled Pecker out from the depths of hell and proceeded to remove Poison’s ability to duel. Just when all the action appeared to have come to a conclusion, Pecker was brought to his death once more, this time through Blaze. Unwary of the developing pattern, FlamingLnfernal revived the fallen Pecker yet again, but possessing no skill to disable Blaze the previous outcome was inevitably repeated. In total, Pecker was killed five times all because of what looks to be a silly, mostly harmless joke. We still have to wonder if perhaps Pecker is on to something here because who in their right mind attacks oneself in the middle of a fight?

The next day, a couple of members of the community expressed their support for Pecker by promoting him for a sum of 12,000 favour. But something tells us this feud is far from over.

Where are they now?
The Riven Edition, Part 1 – Founded on Phaophi 16, 2756 by em (Hem-Nejter) there has never been a dominion quite like The Riven with so many members commanding a terrifying amount of power, fear and respect. We thought it would be interesting to see what ever became of the invincible eleven.

11. Bottom-Heavy Grapefruit
Then: In spite of joining The Riven almost a year after it was founded, Bottom-Heavy Grapefruit was frequently considered one of the dominion’s strongest allies in part because of his close relationship with head chat admininistrator, em, and also due to his expansive influence over the steadily growing population of young disciples. On 4 Payni 2757, he finally made his membership official. Some people still wonder what took him so long.

Now: Bottom-Heavy Grapefruit is now reunited with former Riven mate, em, as a member of the Hem-Netjer dominion where he plays virtually the same role as before, speaking occasionally if the discussion is significant enough to warrant it.

Status: Active, Hem-Netjer

10. Arabella
Then: Not someone to shy away from hotly debated issues, Arabella is perhaps best known for her stand against Malarthi Behemoth’s (Now Doru) brush up with Ankhet law and for her seamless ability to light up the mood of any conversation.

Now: Arabella succumbed to ennui, an event triggered for reasons that are still something of a mystery to the general community. Her closest friends managed to delay her departure long enough, it is presumed, to say a few last words.

Status: Ennui

9. Krysondra
Then: A true outlier of sorts who was temporarily lost in the novelty of joining The Riven. Eventually, Krysondra came to realize her unworthiness as a member and redirected her path away from Riven course, a move that resulted in an obligatory Judgment of Ra.

Now: Not too long ago Krysondra made the decision to permit Kitsune (annexed) to be annexed by the Hatred dominion, where she has remained ever since. More recently, there have been reports of actual "Krysondra communing in the fora" sightings, possibly related to last week’s influx of new disciples.

Status: Active, Hatred

8. Evori
Then: Going from zero to quickly becoming a prominent figure in a dominion fully loaded with alpha-male personalities, Evori established himself as a very well seasoned and menacing fighter, regularly volunteering for jobs requiring the application of Doom and other fatal services.

Now: Provides his killing expertise to the Hem-Netjer dominion and to causes that aim to punish transgressions made against the general community.

Status: Active, Hem-Netjer

This segment was brought to you by your benevolent Archive overlords. Check in next week for the continuation to this article.

Ankhets
1. Sekhmet: Ivan the Cat (100, Lunchlandia) 3w
2. Hathor: Jim (100, N: Hatred)
3. Atum-Ra: Nightvol (100, N: Allou Alom) 2w
4. Selket: pakhet (100, Monolith*) 7w
5. Septu: ghostOpyroto (100, Lunchlandia) 3w
6. Menthu: errational (100, Pennant*)
7. Thoth: Djeret Netjer (100, N: Hem-Netjer)
8. Bast: PorQ Cheops (100, Lunchlandia) 2w
9. Anubis: neminem (96, Lunchlandia) 10w
10. Apohis: Vega (95, Hem-Netjer)
11. Amin-Ra: Bottom-Heavy Grapefruit (91, Hem-Netjer) 8w
12. Ahmose: paulisall (77, Lunchlandia) 5w
13. Ammut: Sut (71, Pennant*) 10w

*- Previous affiliation

There have been no challenges to the Top Ankhet position with Ivan the Cat (Lunchlandia) continuing to dominate the competition for the 3rd straight week. Second place on the other hand has been much more contested as players vie for the power to Cureall. This time it was Jim (Hatred) who came out on top, earning himself a comfortable seat atop the Hathor board.

The third, fourth and fifth spots remained unchanged with Nightvol (Allou Alom) , pakhet (Monolith), and ghostOpyroto (Lunchlandia) all extending their respective streaks.

Finally, someone has decided to inhabit the Shrine of Apophis, but for how long, who can say for sure? Hopefully some kind soul will relieve Vega (Hem-Netjer) of his apparent loneliness.

Lastly, there might be those that would not consider being Ankhet of a path for 10 weeks to be that big of an accomplishment, but in our view it is an official Archive record and we would love to see anyone else attempt to break it; so have at it! Excellent show neminem (Lunchlandia) and Sut (Pennant), The Archives commends you!

Will you be on it next issue?

Dominions
1. Monolith (777, Blue Agave)
2. Lunchlandia (537, FranChom)
3. Hatred (490, Jim) +1
4. Pennant (354, saucybandit)
5. Shadows (251, Baltar)
6. Hem-Netjer (182, Djeret Netjer) +16
7. Luz (127, Nefertiti)
8. Light (101, Aethlas)
9. Lite (92, Messeret)
10. Allou Alom (22, Nightvol)

It was a relatively quiet week in terms of dominion development with only 2 out of the Top 10 factions showing any discernable improvement. Mighty Monolith continues to tower over everyone and it is starting to look like the other dominions have lost all motivation to compete for the Ankhet dominion position.

For the fourth consecutive week Lunchlandia is stagnant, showing no visible signs of level increases. Perhaps they have reached their magic number and have no desire to progress any further.

Hatred, which has consistently impressed with their exceptionally long strides, takes only a baby step closer to surpassing static second place ranking, Lunchlandia. Could it be they have finally run out of gas?

Meanwhile, Hem-Netjer is getting very near to passing Shadows, also plagued by idleness, an achievement by its own right because of the rich history it carries. The event has become a milestone, but is it ever a good idea to arise a sleeping giant? Should Hem-Netjer wish to overtake the 5th spot we cannot imagine it will take very long, especially if they can keep up this newfound momentum.

The new players over at Allou Alom are apparently still getting acclimated to the strange but inviting environment that is Ankhet. Given the quality of mentoring that is currently available to them, we expect great things from this supersized dominion.

How many dominions will manage to increase their levels next week? Come back next issue and find out!

Beast Slayer
1. Major Tom (626, Monolith)
2. PorQ Cheops (454, Lunchlandia) +3
3. KeweL (272, Pennant) +52
4. Blue Agave (231, N: Monolith)
5. Jim (179, N: Hatred)
6. errational (169, Pennant*)
7. Olufemi (111, Pennant)
8. ghostOpyroto (108, Lunchlandia)
9. Cabalist (107, Hem-Netjer)
10. Khedi (102, Hem-Netjer)

A couple of already ranked disciples decided to rumble with the beasts this week, as a result we actually have some things to report! Second place holder PorQ Cheops (Lunchlandia), who is almost 200 kills ahead of the next guy, is now up to 454 slain beasts, gradually closing in on leader Major Tom (626, Monolith).

But true excitement has generated around Kewel (Pennant), who went on a slaying spree of 52 in just a single week, bumping down in his Archive record performance Monolith Nomarch, Blue Agave (231) who was rather inactive in the given period, and claiming the third overall rank in this category.

Truth Sayer
1. UAA (689, Shadows)
2. Satanic Claw (492, Monolith)
3. KeweL (373, Pennant)
4. Baltar (256, N: Shadows)
5. Blue Agave (197, N: Monolith)
6. errational (197, Pennant)
7. Jenn (184, Lunchlandia*)
8. Crevanor (178, Shadows)
9. Nightvol (169, Monolith)
10. Jim (168, N: Hatred)

There are no positional changes this issue.

Wisest
1. Q (99.8%, Monolith)
2. DarkEternal (99.5%, Lunchlandia)
3. Major Tom (99.1%, Monolith)
4. FranChom (98.7%, N: Lunchlandia)
5. Moebius (98.7%, Shadows)
6. Ivan the Cat (98.6%, Lunchlandia)
7. Baltar (98.3%, N: Shadows)
8. Soulene (98.3%, Luz)
9. yami (98.2%, Monolith)
10. LadyUtena (98.2%, Hem-Netjer)

There is not much to report here but we do have a new number 10 rank holder, LadyUtena (Hem-Netjer) is the latest to make the list, edging out pakhet (98.1%, Monolith) by a mere tenth of a percentage. As we see, when it comes to wisdom .1% can make a huge difference in positional shifts.

Everyone else on this list neither improved nor worsened their wisdom.

Speed Demons
12 Thoth 2759
Sean Connery / Djeret Netjer

6 Thoth 2759
Slue-foot Stogie / saucybandit

12 Thoth 2759
Slithy Tove / Nightvol

15 Thoth 2759
Slue-foot Stogie / saucybandit

29 Mesore 2758
Slithy Tove / Nightvol

2 Epagomenae 2758
Slue-foot Stogie / saucybandit

17 Mesore 2758
Slithy Tove / Nightvol

20 Mesore 2758
Big Bad Leroy / Jim

23 Mesore 2758
Slue-foot Stogie / saucybandit

5 Epagomenae 2758
Big Bad Leroy / Jim

Our claim that Thoth has been dull and uneventful when compared to Mesore was completely invalidated this week as four of the top speed records were absolutely shattered by Thoth racers. And with that a new king was crowned, all hail Djeret Netjer!

The record pace set by saucybandit last week gets pushed to second place, while Nightvol gives a masterful performance even in defeat, capturing the third best camel run of All-Time.

Congratulations to all the winners of very well deserved coinage! We leave you with a special update on the disciples who have garnered the most camel racing wins. See you again next week.

Total Wins – Camel Racer (Last Win)

1. 30 wins – Jim (5 Epagomenae 2758)
2. 14 wins – Djeret Netjer (12 Thoth 2759)
3. 12 wins – errational (26 Pharmuthi 2758)
4. 11 wins – saucybandit (15 Thoth 2759)
5. 10 wins – Ivan the Cat (20 Pharmuthi 2758)

12 Thoth 2759

1. Djeret Netjer
2. Nightvol
3. Ivan the Cat
4. errational
5. saucybandit
6. PorQ Cheops
7. pakhet
8. Spam Witch
9. Vega
10. JUSTINTYME

15 Thoth 2759

1. saucybandit
2. Ivan the Cat
3. PorQ Cheops
4. Djeret Netjer
5. pakhet
6. Vega
7. errational
8. JUSTINTYME
9. Eccentric
10. ghostOpyroto

Avatar of Ra
(3)
akhenuraeus
Shadows
(3)
Recklosh
Hatred

Apep Avatar
(3)
Recklosh
Hatred

Black Minotaur
(5)
Vega
Hem-Netjer

Blasphemous Idol
(2)
Ivan the Cat
Lunchlandia

Kauket
(2)
saucybandit
Pennant

Wandering Cleric
(3)
Vega
Hem-Netjer

Light / Dark Ascendancy
(Light)
Recklosh
Hatred

Defeat Anouke
(1)
dfmchfhf
The Quill and Dagger*

Defeat the Apis Bull
(0)
N/A

Defeat Cherti
(1)
Ivan the Cat
Lunchlandia

Defeat the Shedu
(0)
N/A

Defeat the Tore
(1)
Nightvol
Monolith

Black Oracle
(0)
N/A

Blood Merchant
(1)
Vega
Hem-Netjer

Septu
(1)
Recklosh
Hatred

White Oracle
(0)
N/A

Absolve
(0)
N/A

Phoenix
(42)
Jim
Hatred

Bequeath
(27,272 anima)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Resurrect
(58)
nima
QA

Cure
(7,220 vitality)
nima > elda D
QA

Sacrifice
(778 vitality)
ScutumPlebum
Lunchlandia

Cureall
(91)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Shelter
(24)
Spam Witch
Hatred

New Archive Record

Innervate
(54)
Eccentric
Pennant

Tutor
(30,200 favour)
Cade
Hatred

Adjure
(26)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Judgment
(0)
N/A

Censure
(3)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Paradox
(0)
N/A

Desecrate
(0)
N/A

Txatxu
(0)
N/A

Exorcise
(0)
N/A

Wrath
(23)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Non-Adjure
(20)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Extinguish
(0)
N/A

Blaze
(4)
Poison
Hatred

Malign
(100 favour)
Pecker

Condemn
(3, 25,364,626 favour)
Spam Witch
Hatred

New Archive Record

Obviate
(0)
N/A

Decimate
(0)
N/A

Ostracize
(2)
FlamingLnfernal
Hem-Netjer

Devastate
(0)
N/A

Ruin
(8)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Diminish
(7,750 favour)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

New Archive Record

Sap
(6 anima)
Elleliel
Hem-Netjer

New Archive Record

Doom
(10)
Evori
Hem-Netjer

Soulrift
(0)
N/A

Exhaust
(1,529 anima)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Wither
(29 vitality)
Poison
Hatred

One Item
(6)
Ivan the Cat
Lunchlandia

Multiple Items
(635)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

Kills
(9)
Vega
Hem-Netjer

Deaths
(82)
Elleliel
Hem-Netjer

New Archive Record

Kills
(19)
Djeret Netjer
Hem-Netjer

New Archive Record

Deaths
(18)
Spam Witch
Hatred

New Archive Record